The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when issues develop, a fantastic read those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have his response to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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